Jokes & Humor

Daily Joke for May 25, 2013
Very Angry Wife A man left for work one Friday afternoon, but since it was payday, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck instead of just going straight home. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and a two-hour tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply asked, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" The man replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough that he could see her a little bit out of the corner of his left eye.
Daily Joke for May 24, 2013
Chow Time One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, "There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!" Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?" Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"